[MISSION] Of Faith, Trust and Pixie Dust (pt. 2)

What seemed to be a nice and quick mission into Pixie Hollow goes south very quickly.

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The fic referenced/cited in this story, titled "The Adventures of the No Talent Fairy", belongs to littlejadelady and they're welcome to keep or do anything they want with it.

The following text is a work of parody/satire that contains literary analysis.

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Snowcap Glade map in Pixie Hollow Online

"Hey! Where are you going?" Inasuke called upon seeing his partner take off from the branch they had been sitting on. "It's time to assassinate the Sue!"

"C'mon, ya heard dat too, right?" Urato replied. "I think I heard dis thing somewhere."

"Are you insane? We don't have time to investigate random things!" Inasuke said. "Do you want to finish the mission and go home quickly or not? The fic is cut off here, so let's get this over with…"

Before he could finish, something crashed into the two, sending them spinning in mid-air as though in an invisible human centrifuge. Once they were aware which way was down again and controlled themselves into stopping spinning, they found themselves in for quite a surprise; the fairy crashing into them wasn't any fairy, but…

"Momotchi? / Shigisawa-sempai?" both cried in unison.

The white-haired fairy in a peach petal dress, upon realizing who she bumped into, was utterly flustered. "Ahh! Urato-kun? Inasuke-kun? I'm sorry, are you hurt?" she cried. "I never thought I'd see you here. Why are you here? What happened?"

"Dang, never thought ya'd be here either. Did sumthin' happen?" Urato said. "We're just missionin', nothin' new."

"Eh? Were you sent in as backup? Is this Sue that hard?" Momoka asked, looking visibly puzzled.

"No, the fic is cut off after just one chapter and the Sue doesn't seem overly powerful… yet," Inasuke said, looking puzzled as well. "In fact, we're about to get her done with and go home right about now."

Momoka grew even more flustered. "What do you mean? The intel report says the fic is complete at eleven chapters, and we're on chapter three right now. What's going on?"

She just began to hyperventilate when Urato interrupted. "If yer here, dat means Guyatchi's here too, right? Dang, I knew dat noise only means one thing. Where's he?"

"We're splitting up to find our Pocket Fictionary. We know nothing about this continuum, so we need it to research as we go along, but I dropped it," Momoka said. She was no longer hyperventilating; instead, she broke into tears. "I just wanted a less boring mission. I never knew we'd end up with something like this. It's all my fault that Kaguya-sama is in a continuum he doesn't know, and we've lost the only thing that can help. What are we going to do?"

Urato and Inasuke were about to answer, but couldn't. An unknown fairy just flew up to them, holding a small electronic device in her hand. "Looking for this?" she said.

She was instantly replied by three loud startled screams. Inasuke in particular was on the verge of a heart attack; this strange fairy, with her pointy, short blonde hair, was the one leading the pseudo-goth Sue Elphaba away at the end of the short fic. "You… how do you… who… why…" Inasuke could only enunciate short bursts of voice.

"Oh, right. That nasty-looking girl with ugly spotted hair? Tied her up and tossed her in a sack," the dark-skinned fairy turned to the men and continued. The garbs she wore, a top of the harshest lime green and a skirt of the strongest cherry red, were starting to make the agents' eye sore. "Our new princess? Ha! I knew something is off with her the moment she materialized. Even for my artistic sensibilities, her colour coordination is atrocious! I'm Helena, painting-talent. No need to thank me for taking care of that pest on our realm."

To say the least, it was a day full of surprises. However Urato, ever unable to read the room, quickly changed the subject. "Now dat we get yer Fictionary back, how 'bout lookin' fer Guyatchi? Where d'ya think he's at?"

Momoka took a moment to wipe her tears and compose herself before entertaining him. "Well, we're on chapter three, and we agreed to meet up at the dandelion field if we can't find anything. I suppose he must be there by now."

"Dandelion field? You mean Cottonpuff Field?" the stranger fairy Helena cut in. "No problem, I'll lead you there in a matter of seconds. Follow me, and try not to get distracted by the smell of freshly roasted acorns and cream of pumpkin soup."

The agents looked at each other, but soon unanimously decided to fly after the retreating blonde fairy clad in eye-watering colours. After all, the day couldn't possibly get any wackier.

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Chapter 4: Born a Leader

"Not having a talent, creating a delinquent gang that hate their talents and Queen Clarion for no reason, and spawning an army of minis. Man, this Sue is bad," Inasuke mumbled to himself as he read Momoka's notes. "Why aren't we sent after this fic instead? This one is so much worse than the weepy Sue!"

Things grew more and more interesting. Kaguya and Momoka were missioning a different fic and after a different Sue, but for one reason or another, there they were in the same Word World as the agents of RC 🤘. It was not often that two fics "merged", and the reasons why remained unknown. There were more important matters at hand: a new Sue on the loose, and the as-of-yet unknown whereabouts of Kaguya.

"I just don't understand." Sheen put his hand on his chin. "you're not a talented fairy yet you seem to be able to do just about everything. Almost like you're not talent less but talent full?" Jadina shrugs. "I haven't a clue." "well you can bend light a little... and water... you managed to even open the petals of a flower." Sheen wonders out loud. "you found a way to be a dust fairy without sneezing and you even managed to pass into winter without getting frostbite." He rubs his forehead. "on top of that your almost as fast as Wisp and she's really fast yet you aren't even a fast flying fairy." He pauses for a moment and frowns. "I just don't understand."

The sound of two howling CADs as the group flew over the Autumn Forest stopped them dead in their tracks. "Oh no, how can I forget about her?" Momoka said, panic kicking in again as her Bag started to smell funny while the mini-thistles gathered from her mission – Tinkerbelle, rosett, main land, tinker hollow among others – ran and kicked and stampeded and caused general mayhem inside. Far below, the Sue by the name of Jadina Softfoot and an OC named Sheen were having an exchange that had Inasuke tugging at his hair in frustration again.

"Ugh, what's with all these Sues?" he grumbled through his teeth. "What on earth is this creature anyway? She doesn't have a talent, yet can do everything and take the Winter Woods' climate like it's nothing?"

"She doesn't have a talent? How does that even work?" Helena chimed in, "Even the clumsiest, most good-for-nothing fairy in the Hollow has a talent! Are you telling me she's like the one back there, who apparently has a nonsensical talent that doesn't exist and yet we're expected to revere her and call her princess?"

"This one is worse than the one you just met, I'm telling you," Inasuke said. "This one has no talent and has every talent at the same time! Both are dangers to Pixie Hollow, but this one is a danger to logic!"

Momoka and Urato could only watch the two's exchange; they were so engrossed with complaining about the Sue's antics that they didn't notice something rapidly falling towards them. It wasn't until Urato noticed first and yelled, "Look out!" that they were aware and flew out of the way.

Urato flew up and caught this falling object before it could crash into the group. It turned out not to be an object, but a person – a Sparrow Man with long dark hair, pretty features and an outfit of autumn leaves. He still breathed, but neither said one word nor reacted in any way to his surroundings; his dark eyes stared blankly ahead, his body posed rigid like a log. Even more concerning was that three of the fairies around him knew exactly who he was.

"Kaguya-sama! / Guyatchi! / Hazama-sempai!" they screamed.

(to be continued)