[MISSION] Of Desserts and Dragon Sickness (pt. 1)

Urato and Inasuke's second mission. Set before Kaguya falls into in RC 🤘 and the agents of RC 381 get trapped for days there.

Warning for in-fic objectionable content: glorified violence and abuse (in a Smauging Strawberry Shortcake fic). The writer of this post does not endorse the contents and views put forth by the work of fiction being parodied in it.

---

The fic cited in this story, titled "strawberry shortcake: a new start (rewritten)", belongs to Tsume sakamea and they're allowed to keep or do whatever they want with it.

The following text is a work of parody/satire that contains literary analysis.

---

People are allowed to have different interests, conventional wisdom would have it. It was a doctrine Urato understood and lived by fairly well. He thought being a personal servant for virtually no pay was silly, yet he never stopped Momoka from doing so. He thought wearing traditional attire everyday and paying too much attention to presentability was pointless, yet he never stopped Kaguya from doing so. He thought watching cutesy shows all the time and piling handmade plushes in one's room was vomit-inducing, yet he never stopped Inasuke from doing so.

Really, Urato would have no problem leaving his partner and his saccharine fandoms alone if only he would extend the same courtesy to him and stop dragging him into them.

He already knew their second mission would be no good upon hearing the continuum's name alone. Strawberry Shortcake, ick. He could almost feel himself becoming diabetic right then and there. At least this time the agents would be allowed to be humans, even if severely de-aged; one more fluffy animal disguise and Urato would at best have a heart attack. "Lil' shit," he muttered before following his cuteness-obsessed partner through the portal.

---

Welcome to strawberry land

Fortunately for Urato's sensibilities but unfortunately for Inasuke's, the environment was rendered with none of the aesthetics of the original show. No rolling hills of frosted cake and flower-dotted plains of grass, no trees of swirly chocolate, no towering lollipops along every path, no fences of candy canes, no streams of fudge. All was nothing but unshaded blocks of beige, like something hastily drawn in MS Paint. "Ugh, this is even worse than Berry in the Big City," Inasuke grumbled. He turned to Urato, who was then disguised as a boy dressed in brown and white plus a fluffy white hat, and said, "Come on Marshmallow Toast, let's go. The quicker we deal with the badfic, the less I have to look at all this eyesore."

"Marshmallow Toast?" Urato enunciated the name as though it was bile in his mouth.

"It's your codename. I thought it'd be more fitting for this continuum to take cute sweets-based codenames," Inasuke, dressed in mostly various shades of tan, said, "You can call me Hazel Butter by the way."

Urato was about to reply something nasty when he felt a hard object hit his forehead. "Hey! Da hell was dat for?" he yelled.

Inasuke was about to protest when he saw exactly what lead to that reaction from his partner. There on the beige ground sat a small, round piece of gold-like material, rather like a coin, with the words strawberry land engraved upon one side. "A mini. From the chapter title, no less," Inasuke said. "This has got to be a mini-Gold Sand Dollar. You may wanna be careful with that though; two girls in the show almost got enslaved for life because of Gold Sand Dollars. It's complicated."

Urato slipped the mini into his pocket, his partner's words going in one ear and out the other. Inasuke tried not to collapse to the ground screaming at the fic's lack of capitalization and the running on of the first sentence alone; before the agents, Strawberry Shortcake and her canonical friends were playing together in a scene that could have come straight out of the show – if the environment weren't so ugly and their movements so awkward – when 2 kids they never seen before showed up.

a girl with tan skin, long dark purple hair pulled in pigtails, lavender eyes and was dressed in a black shirt and dark purple overalls with a picture of a lavender strawberry on it with black shoes to match. The boy had fair skin, frost green short hair, light green eyes as he wore a dark green shirt with black sleeves, brown pants with dark green and black sneakers.

"Err, why's da Bag gettin' so hot?" Urato asked upon feeling a sudden growing heat from the Bag of Holding worn on his side. Instantly, Inasuke plunged his hand into it and pulled out the culprit – the CAD.

[Creepy-Looking Pseudo-Goth Chick. Non-canon, MARY SUE ALERT! MARY SUE ALERT! WITH A CHERRY ON TOP!]

"Found our target," he said, then turned off the overheating device and stuck it back into the Bag, hoping it wouldn't turn itself on again. "I knew something is up with the purple one. Besides, black strawberry rock and green apple Cinnamon? I don't think those are legit dessert names," he irritatedly continued as the canons and the OCs introduced themselves. "The fic's barely begun and we have two charges: terrible fashion sense and naming sense. Is this fic purposefully trying to drive me insane or something?"

What he forgot to mention or notice was that, hideous clothing and funny name aside, the CAD didn't register the boy OC as a Stu.

Urato was supposed to note down the charges as his partner whinged some more about lack of capitalization, but he forgot this in favour of examining a newly spawned mini – gingersnap. He then took strawberry land from his pocket and scrutinized both coins together; something about them just begged him to pay special attention. Even for something spawned in one of those stupid cutesy kids' shows, they were surprisingly high-quality, giving off a metallic sheen and felt as heavy as real gold. Perhaps they were real gold…

Then Inasuke's sudden cry of, "For crying out loud, this is so boring! Let's portal to something more important!" snapped him out of his thoughts, and he hastily slipped the minis back into his pocket.

The agents arrived outside the Sue's house and peeked through the window just as the Sue and Strawberry Shortcake entered.

when arriving at black strawberry's door black strawberry felt kind of nerves and thought strawberry may not like what she's about to see, so far strawberry seems to like the color of her house seeing it resembled her own strawberry house. She opened the door and walked in and strawberry followed after once the door closed it was dark inside " uh black strawberry it's kind of dark in here" strawberry said

"Argh! My eyes!" Urato yelped and covered his eyes at the visual assault right after black strawberry clapped her hand twice to switch the lights on. The interior of the Sue's house was decked out in a mix of purple and lavender, which the Word World rendered as a painful combination of the two colours that made the beholder want to throw up their very soul. This was however not the most aggravating the house had to offer.

the floor was polished wood, the living room had a purple carpet with a white table ,a white sofa along to the right was a white sofa chair, they're on a stand was a 70 inch plasma widescreen TV. great for movies. Strawberry walked to The kitchen combines elegance and functionality, blending black countertops and with wood appliances and glass-and-wood cabinets. The social space encourages casual interaction and provides a stunning view from every location - even when washing the dishes. There was a set of staircase that leads up to the second floor, as she followed black strawberry up to see 3 closed Doors

"This has got to be a new colour. Purple and lavender, that makes it plaa… plaven… lapar… plarnder. Yeah, let's go with that," Inasuke said while trying not to wince from prolonged exposure to a Sue colour. "Besides, charge for having a Sue house that doesn't belong in the show's aesthetics! Ginger Snap owns a state-of-the-art factory and even that follows the design of everything else! Oh great, you have this super awesome house with a ton of super awesome stuff, and yet you sleep in a tiny flower?" Indeed, since black strawberry's room was a lavender that was decorated in Japanese writing, it appeared as a stalk of flowering lavandula angustifolia with barely readable hiragana upon each petal. Strawberry saw nothing off with this. "I could've been back in my room watching the real show, and yet here I am watching this hideous nonsense!"

As always, Urato tuned him out. He couldn't keep the minis off his mind, and he was fighting the urge to take them out and look at them again. There was nothing they could be but real gold; when he looked at them, he felt like a pirate captain, cracking open a chest full of treasure after a long and perilous voyage…

The story jarred itself into Cinnamon pov) ("Misusing the term 'point-of-view'!" Inasuke cried), and the agents found themselves outside green apple Cinnamon's house. The male OC had just finished conversing with Huckleberry Pie when Angel Cake appeared.

" cinnamon, I've been dying to ask you, are you and black strawberry related?" angel cake asked "no, but at times I like to think we are seeing we spend so much time with each other" he said with a chuckle " It must be nice to have a friend like her" angel said as cinnamon almost felt himself gagging "uh, yeah but at times she can get …uh mean " "mean, in what way?" huckleberry asked "in a way of every boy's nightmare... Anyway so who's hungry for some cinnamon toast crunch?"

"All the more reasons to boot the Sue out of this universe," Inasuke said.

The scene changed again, drawing from Inasuke another stream of grumbling and whinging. As if that didn't irritate him enough, a handful of canons gathered to talk about how great the two OCs were – save for one character, who remained stubbornly dismissive of the idea of having them in their community.

A pleasant smell reminiscent of candy canes drifted out of the Bag. Just like not too long ago, it was the CAD again, but this time it returned a slightly different reading.

[Peppermint Fizz. Canon, female human. OOC level: ≤ 10%. My faith in the fanfic world has been restored.]

"Ah, good news for once," Inasuke said, switching off the device again. "This fic is a parade of utter rubbish, but at least it keeps Peppermint in-character."

Urato neither replied nor heeded him, for he was distracted by four new minis – Orange blossom pov), orange blossoms, rainbow sherbert and strawberries house.

---

meeting new friend and old

"Holy macaroni what on earth is that, this can't be real, somebody purify my eyeballs," Inasuke rambled like a drunk madman at the horrifying sight behind Strawberry Shortcake's window. green apple Cinnamon was supposedly expressing confusion at the party the canons held for him and the Sue, but since the narration dictated cinnamon ass looking around, it was his buttocks that detached from his body to float around reacting to the surroundings. Inasuke squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head, trying to prevent the image from being permanently etched into his mind; he started to regret not packing any Bleeprin.

The body horror wrapped up quickly, but the horror did not. Raspberry Torte tried to strike up friendly conversation with cinnamon, which was such a mortal sin in black strawberry's eyes that she dragged him away by force and threateningly glared at Raspberry.

cinnamon tried to stop her, at which point she rudely stuffed a cupcake in his mouth.

"Oh, so not only is she a Sue, she's also a needlessly jealous little bitch," Inasuke commented as the altercation continued before him, not helped by cinnamon's confirmation that black strawberry had done this many times before. "Not even Peppermint is this jerkish, and she knows when she's going too far. We're supposed to like this garbage character how, exactly?"

Just before the confrontation could get worse, cinnamon informed an unsettlingly grinning black strawberry that a new male OC – black licorice – had arrived. This caused the Sue to storm off, but not before a timely observation from Peppermint.

something about this girl didn't feel right or maybe it was in Peppermint's imagination as she watched the girl watch raspberry with a look of anger on her face as she picked up a knife from the table and started to play with it just when she looked liked she was gonna throw it strawberry walked up to black strawberry, peppermint saw black strawberry change from being mad to being nice making peppermint become even more suspicious of her

"Oh for goodness's sake, now she's trying to murder people too? This little hellspawn does not belong in Strawberryland!" Inasuke complained. "This is a sweet, light-hearted kids' show, yet along comes this stupid bint littering her edgy nonsense everywhere in a world full of light and innocence. What even the hell is the point?" amidst his ranting, another female OC by the name of sour kiss summer barged in with a design suspiciously reminiscent of the canon character Lime Light, except she wore blue and lime green leggings. "Ugh, another visual assault colour – blime. This better not be another Sue. Marshmallow, give me the CAD… Marshmallow? Ura-chan?"

Inasuke's mood turned from irritation to panic very quickly. Turns out, for the whole time he was watching and whinging away at the Sue's antics, Urato was missing.

(to be continued)